First Mom’s Day in Heaven
a three-minute lesson from Dr. Santo D. Marabella, The Practical Prof®
This lesson diverges from our typical “lesson.” I need it to be different, as I wouldn’t know how else to commemorate this Mother’s Day!
Today, I wrote a letter to my Mom, who passed away in February, in honor of Mother’s Day. She suffered for a number of years — managing diabetes, end stage renal failure and a third bout with cancer, that she wasn’t able to beat. (NOTE: My nickname growing up was “Sandy.”)
Dear Mom,
Hi! I’m not going to ask how you are — I know how you are. In fact, it’s the first time in years that I am not worry about how you are. You are great, you are beautiful, you are happy, you are at peace!
It’s been quite a different world, since you’ve been gone… in so many ways, a lot of firsts.
To start, it’s the first Mother’s Day without you. No last-minute run to the flower or card shop to find the best gift or card for you. Last week was my first birthday I didn’t have my favorite chocolate cake, the one with coffee in it — not the actual coffee grounds like I heard you used the first time you made it, but the hot, brewed coffee! Back in April, it was the first anniversary of your wedding that we didn’t celebrate with you — it would have been your 69th. That was a difficult day for Dad. And, it is the first time we haven’t been out of the house — for anything but food and meds — since mid-March. That virus thing.
I can tell you that I am at peace — you were loved and cared for well. But, I miss you a lot. All the ways you drove me crazy, made me laugh, took care of me and Dad. Your feisty and stubborn spirit, your good cooking and obsessive cleaning, your sometimes unfiltered words that made me shake my head, your courage and your big heart.
One thing that I don’t miss — all the suffering and pain you endured, especially the past 2 years. I’m very happy that’s gone. On this mother’s day, my sadness from you not being here is comforted by that.
I pray that your spirit touches Dad, who misses you dearly and talks to you frequently. I pray that I always carry your spirit with me as I go forward. And, I pray that your peace is the most beautiful you have ever experienced.
I do have one little wish: I would like to hear just one more phone message like the many you left such as this, “Hello, Sandy, this is your mother!” Really, Mom? I’m so glad you told me, was my response after listening to every message!
PS. I actually have one of those messages saved on my phone — some days it makes me cry, other days it makes me laugh. I don’t know which it is today.
Love,
Sandy
In a strange way, I feel blessed that my mom passed before the pandemic took hold. We were able to grieve with friends, celebrate her life with a viewing and funeral, and share fellowship and memories at a luncheon.
I know that many people have suffered difficult losses recently — like my uncle who lost his wife of 62 years. He and many others did not have the opportunity to feel comforted by loved ones and friends, or have their desired way of celebrating the deceased’s life. I am sorry that has had to be your experience. I send you consoling energy and light. I hope that in time you will get the support you deserve and need, and your loved one the farewell that is fitting. This post is as much for you, as it is for my Mom.
Happy Mother’s Day!
